Keep Going — Just Fear Less

I would love to meet me. And have one or two Me’s as a friend.

The conversation would be witty, deep, hilarious, challenging, inspiring, meaningful. We would leave energized, wanting more and probably become better versions of ourselves.

I think the world would be a better place if more kids could have people like me as their parent.

So why do I feel like no one will like me?

I think it’s because when I imagine meeting someone, I think they will only see me for that singular moment. I might say something that makes them angry and they will write me off.

Some part of my mind boils me down to just a moment. A single interaction. I will say something. They will hate it—and me—or they will love it—and me.

Joe Hudson said on the Modern Wisdom podcast that whenever he finds himself in binary thinking he can know he is in fear.

In reality, when I say that thing there are hundreds of responses and most of them are probably positive.

I’m hoping that learning about binary thinking will enable me to catch that part when it gets scared and I can instead say, “Oh, hey! Thanks for being here. You are trying to protect me from feeling an emotion. That’s sweet! First, I want life to be rich and full, so that means not turning down emotions. I can handle them now. Second, I want to stay in the moment. Because I can handle emotions I don’t need to try to prepare for them. Just let them be a surprise. And third, you are probably overreacting anyway.”

The idea behind this post came from a line at the end of one of Chris Williamson’s vlogs. He’s just had the most successful week of his career and this is the thought that he shares. It’s so perfect for me.

A lot of the time when people ask “What advice would you give yourself ten years ago?” Invariably that piece of advice is still the same thing that you need to hear now. Because the big problems are always the big problems.

And for me it would be “Fear Less. Do the same things. Really change very little. Just stop fucking fearing about the outcome, dude. Stop worrying about whether you’ll clamber out from underneath who you fucking were. You already have done that. You’re already past those things. But these patterns are just gonna keep coming up…”

So I guess it’s an invitation, maybe, for me, and for everybody else to just be a bit kinder to yourself. Fuck, especially if the people around you can be kinder to you than you can. Jesus, you should not be your own worst enemy.

I have come so far. I am already proud of who I am. And because of the way I think, I know I’ll just keep getting better. Even though I’m already enough.