Learning to Be the Dad I Needed

We decided to change up birthday gifts for our kids and instead of getting them each a bunch of smaller presents, we got them all a huge trampoline. We haven’t come to any birthdays yet so that part of the experiment could be a failure, but we are loving the trampoline so far.

I was jumping with my youngest son yesterday and realized that he was constantly smiling. He looked so happy. I’ve watched him jump a lot, but when he’s jumping with me I can tell he likes it a lot more.

I didn’t have a relationship with my father like I do with my kids. He barely saw me, never played with me, and hated it when I formed my own opinions. My mom spoke so poorly of him that I knew he was a bad father by the time I was 12.

My partner has said to me a few times when talking about the kids, “They probably love it just because they are doing it with their dad.” I had heard this sentiment, but I don’t remember ever feeling it towards my dad. Maybe I did when I was younger than six.

When I looked into my son’s eyes as we jumped I saw complete contentment. He was so satisfied in that moment. My jumping with him and looking into his eyes seemed to fill him up with connection, safety, and joy. He didn’t need or want for anything else in that moment.

Honestly, it worked both ways. Him being so happy to just jump with me allowed me to feel connected and valued as well. It also gave me a glimpse into how kids see their father if their mother hasn’t torn him apart in their eyes.

I would love to discover any other ways that I can be outdoors, get exercise, give and receive connection with my kids, AND learn how to do flips all at once.